Sora Is Jesus
by KXXI
Summary: Flame me. Please.
1. Lecture 57: Sora Is Jesus

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Kingdom Hearts, Donald Trump, Noam Chomsky, Bugs Bunny, or Jesus. **

**AN: Flame me. Please. **

**Enjoy. **

_

* * *

_

_The Kumquatous Discovery Happy-Joy Lecture Series Presents: _

_------ _

The Astronomical and Social Inveigles of Obscurities Within the Infamous Video-Game Industry

-----

_Lecturer Avery Stue Pidmann presiding over the 57th course in this lecture series: _

----

SORA IS JESUS 

_A comprehensive study of the biblical symbolism in the Kingdom Hearts Videogame _

_--- _

_Avery Stue Pidmann is a 32 year old obese man living in New Jersey with his aging mother. A world renowned lecturer (and taco fanatic) he has also worked with the Kumquatous Discovery Happy-Joy Lecture Series with such brilliant performances as "The Errors Of Humanity: Donald Trumps Unnatural Hair", "Abort this Program!: The Social Birth Ethics of the Computer Industry," and "Think Outside the Bun: A Memoir of Tacos and Women." We are honored to have him here in our lecture studio today, after a harrowing bus ride of fifteen miles to get here. Lets give a great round of applause for this ingenious man! _

Audience: Hip, Hip, Huzzah!

Thank you, thank you. It is an _honor _to be here, back again at my old home in the KDHJLS. My, it brings back memories - I never completely got those tomatoes stains out of my second-best suit! (audience laughs) But, I was young and foolish then - now, I have a raincoat and a shield, and a bag of lettuce of my own. And a bag of rocks. (audience laughs a little more nervously) So please, enjoy this new program, the infamous "Sora Is Jesus."

Biblical symbolism is, well, everywhere. From Jane Eyre - so controversial to have a female Christ figure for the time - to the terminator - which was just stupid - it has invaded our lives. Everywhere we go, the images of light against darkness and good against evil seem to follow us. Why should it not be so in video games? I have many points to cover in this lecture, but the main one is this - the Kingdom Hearts Dynasty of the Video-audio game system is indeed, overflowing with Bible References. Sora, in fact, is representing Jesus.

Besides the apparent light/dark symbolism following him everywhere, there are many clues to why this is so. For instance, he opens 'the door' to Kingdom Hearts - lets the light of forgiveness bathe the worlds (and blinds Ansem, who is representing the devil). He also is the one to believe hearts (souls) are good, thus adding to the "forgiveness." theme. Finally, his entire story can be related to that of the Christ - setting off from Destiny Islands (A warped form of Bethlehem, which then breeds the problem of who is Joseph and Mary - Wakka being the oldest child there . . .) and making a journey to End of The World. (Jerusalem.) On the way he encounters many new faces - sinners to be saved and disciples. Finally, we come to the death and resurrection of Sora - betrayed by Riku, he is cast to wondering in Hollow Bastion and turned into a heartless, representing the death. Of course, rather then actually dying, Sora turns into a black, bug-eyed cute thing you want to name Shadow-chan, and glomp, but that is beside the point.

Kairi, representing the virgin mother, is the one to bring Sora back. With a hug, and the love of humanity, Sora is returned to life, and sent on to the end of the world. Kairi is pure, a 'princess of heart', so it is right she should be the one to instate the resurrection.

Then, after talking about Kairi, we come to the odd point of Riku. Riku, once being Sora's friend, can be named many things - the betrayer, and yet the saved. For as Riku goes into the darkness, by the end of the first game he is on the side of Sora and the King - helping them close the door. This can be interpreted as the 'savior' of Riku - his darkness evaporating in the love of others. There are many "saved' characters in the biblical study, one of the main being obvious - Mary Magdalene. With all the stone before-said stone imagery following Riku (see section A15, Page G20 of Lecture 12) it seems only fitting. This, however, means that 1) Riku is a girl, and 2) he is a prostitute.

Audience: Fangirly Squee

Pidmann: excuse me, _was_ a prostitute.

Audience: Aw, maaaaaaaan.

Pidmann: But a need for forgiveness is not the only aspect of Riku. There is also the betrayal, which could lead one to believe he is representing Judas. By being led astray, through maleficent _also _representing the devil, he loses faith in his friend Sora, and eventually steals the key blade (representing nachos) from him.

Audience: Nachos?

Pidmann: Well, you see, there is an easy explination for that. It is merely that nyerner nyerner nyerner nyerner nyerner nyerner of blah blah blah blah blah with duhrr duhrr duhrr duhrr pythagrium theorem blah blah cheese wizz blah blah blah blah blah blah Goofy and Pluto nyerner nyerner nyerner APiR2 duhrr duhrr duhrr duhrr duhrr duhrr never trust a dog with orange eyebrows nyerner nyerner nyerner nyerner port-i-potty blah blah blah blah blah gamma radiation duhrr duhrr duhrr duhrr duhrr and other nonsensical jargon. It's really quite simple, don't you see?

After one recognizes Sora's inherent biblical symbolism, everything else falls into place. Mary Magdalene, the disciples, the devil, even God and heavenly powers is represented through the good of King Mickey . . .

Audience Member: Mickey?

Pidmann: Why yes, with the aspect of light surrounding him and Sora's search for him, her represents the trilogy which all spiritually look for . . .

Audience Member: No he doesn't.

Pidmann: Excuse me?

Audience Member: He doesn't. He most certainly does not represent God!

Pidmann: I'm sorry, but I have done extensive research on this point, and it's quite obvious that . . .

Audience Member: Well, you're research is wrong. And you're stupid!

Pidmann: That's Pid_mann_, Avery Stue Pidmann.

Audience Member: I mean you're an uneducated idiot and all your theories are crackpot!

Pidmann: I am a _professor_!

Audience Member: I laugh at your professorship! AHAHAHAHAHA!

Pidmann: Well what are you? I bet you work at McDonalds and the only people who will hear your theories are on the _internet_!

Audience Member: So? You're so dumb you still believe Noam Chomsky was right!

Pidmann: Oh, that is _it! You get out of my lecture hall right now!_

Audience Member: Oh, that hit a nerve. Somebody doesn't like Noam's linguist theories!

Pidmann: You _dare _insult the great and almighty Chomsky to my _face_? You insolent dog! Prepare for the whipping of your life!

Audience Member: What, because you think Mickey Mouse is _god_? Get a life! Move into the twenty-first century, geezer! Disney is

over! Only the true king will reign! Give me Bugs Bunny or give me death! _Viva la Warner!_

Another Audience Member: Oh my god it's a Warnerist! Run!

Pidmann: I knew one of them would try and weasel their way in here!

Audience Member: That's right, pitiful fools! I _am _a Warnerist! I believe in the path of the Harry Potter movies and Looney Toons! We of

the brotherhood scoff Kingdom hearts and your puny theories! AHAHAHAHAHA!

Pidmann: You don't even know the difference between a laugh and a scoff! Bring it on, oh, _bring it on_!

Warnerist: I'll settle it with fists! Take that! And that! The Brothers are the best!

Third Audience Member: You're all wrong! Pixar is the way of the future! Bow before you superiors, slaves! The end of an animation era is eminent!

Fourth Audience Member: Don't worry Pidmann, Square Enix is behind you all the way! Die, rebel scum!

Audience Member: Aaaaaaaaaaaarrggg! My spleen!

Yet Another Audience Member: Ohh, and it looks like Viz is down for the count, but oh, no, he's standing up again! And, ah, Pidmann just got a good hit on Pixar, but Warner's got a chair, watch out, Avery! That must have hurt! Oh, but he's going for the mouth with the bag of rocks! Hah! Take that! And Funimation's come in from the right, and I think he has a knife, yes, the man has a _knife_! Ahhh, that's fighting dirty! He's going for the kill, he's about to stab him - nooo! Only a noble sacrifice from the Biology Professor stopped him in time. And look, Art History's out for revenge, not a pretty sight! That is a _large _machete, there! The odds are on Warner, eight to five, but Pidmann's getting a few good swings in there, and if you like the underdog, Viz has come out of nowhere and is tearing the place apart - !

_Fades Out _

The _Kumquatous Discovery Happy-Joy Lecture Series _would like to thank you for listening to lecture 57 in the course, The Astronomical and Social Inveigles of Obscurities Within the Infamous Video-Game Industry,  Sora is Jesus. Unfortunately, Lecturer Avery Stue Pidmann will not join us next time, as he has received multiple wounds to the head with what the police think was a pineapple. He is Recovering in St Murgatroid's hospital for the Mentally Deranged, and with luck will be able to speak again within the year. All the get well cards were appreciated. Perhaps one day he'll be able to read them.

_Next time_: The Video Game Gay-o-Meter: Is there a definite correlation between Spikiness of Hair and Homosexuality? Lecturer Akuroku Presiding.

* * *

**We used to listen to a lecture series on the History of the English Language on long car trips, and when ever we did, I always dreamed of something like this happening. Chomsky may have been proven wrong, btw. Check out the New Yorker, if you can find it.  
All reviews are appreciated. Actually, for this story, all flames are _also _appreciated.**


	2. Lecture 58: The Video Game GayOMeter

**I'd like to thank everyone for all the wonderful reviews I've gotten, I don't think I deserve all the kindness I've been given, and the flame was quite funny and good, **-0xxo-YAOI-oxx0-**, thank you! I sincerely hope I haven't offended anyone, but if I have, eh, can't say I wasn't expecting it. Then again, the last one will make this one look as pure as Sunday School . . . (no irony intended.) Even if it's hard to believe, I don't mean to offend anyone homosexual or who enjoys homosexual pairings. Hell, I'm a yaoi fangirl and proud of it! That's not the point! **

**This chapter isn't as intellectual as the last, but I hope it's somehow entertaining. Whereas the first chapter was stupid-funny/intellectual and could be taken seriously, this one's just stupid-funny. Sorry. **

**I do not own the rights to Kingdom Hearts, Heinz Ketchup, Albert Einstein, Jane Eyre, or Equiuus.**

_**Enjoy**_

_The Kumquatous Discovery Happy-Joy Lecture Series Presents:_

_------_

The Astronomical and Social Inveigles of Obscurities Within the Infamous Video-Game Industry

-----

_Lecturer Akuroku presiding over the 58__th__ course in this lecture series:_

----

The Video Game Gay-o-Meter

_Is there a definite correlation between Spikiness of Hair and Homosexuality? _

_---_

_Lecturer Faine Gierell Akuroku grew up in the middle of deep space, among a peace-loving, all-accepting wiser alien race, all in favor of helping the species of the multiverse sort out their problems. She was sent down to planet earth in order to end all wars, global hunger, and solve many of life's mysteries, such as why, when you tap the picture of the pickle on the Heinz-ketchup bottle, the condiment inside comes out fluidly, even if attempts in other places, with machete, power drill or band-saw could not get the ketchup to move. She may have even explained why_ _there _is_ a picture of a pickle on the Heinz ketchup bottle, and then sought out the smaller problems of life, such as string-theory. _

_However, her ship crashed. Rather than landing delicately in the lobby of the united nations, it came spiraling down into the middle of an Anime Con. Covered in soot, her black jumpsuit torn and dirtied, her third eye and gravity-defying hair clearly visible, she was _not _deemed out of place by the humans there. In fact, her bizarre look was simply unremarkable and deemed 'boring,' because no one could figure out what anime she was supposed to be from. In awe of these humans, who seemed serenely unaware of her diplomatic intentions, she took a vow that instead of pursuing her dreams of peace, prosperity, and savior of the human race, she would take up a higher form of life - that of an otaku. She would spend her days happily worshipping the deities of Rumiko Takahashi and Hiromu Arakawa and performing The Holy Glomp, once every five hours, in quest of the nirvana known as 'chibi.' _

_Critically acclaimed for her wonderful work in the field of male character homosexuality, she was the first to propose that the key blade was merely a giant gay-dar, and greatly applauded for her eighteen page-long Squee. She has worked with the KDHJLSP on projects ranging from "__Maui Wowie - Yaoi: Hawaiian Drugs, Shonen Ai and Rhyming slang gone horribly, horribly awry__!" to "__The Heart of The Pain: Mapping the Angst system in the human body, noting it's interactions with the circulatory and lymph systems, and performing an open-emo surgery for live audiences!"_.

**Lecturer Akuroku**: Hello, hello, I am so _very _glad to be back here at KHJLS, my it's been years, I see the old place is completely redecorated . . . Though I can't say the neon pink walls go completely with the red paint splotches. Oh, is this - is this blood? . . . Oh. Well then. Shall we begin?

Konichiwa, I am Lecturer Akuroku, here all the way from Japan!

**Audience**: Applauds

**Lecturer Akuroku**: But of course you all know that from the pamphlet. stamps papers on desk In the field of male homosexuality, nothing is certain. Much of our studies on shonen ai have been long hampered by an age old and seemingly impossible to answer question: just when _is _a character gay? For a long time great Yaoi studying organizations such as Friends And New Gamers Indeed Really Love Slash - FANGIRLS for short - had pondered this conundrum to no avail.

However, in a series of recent tests - which of course will appear later in the lecture - a fantastic breakthrough has been made. Through teams of expert men and women - okay, mostly women - okay, mostly adolescent girls - a foolproof test has been developed to determine the sexuality of a anime, book, or game male character. This very test I hold now in my hands and you shall soon see before you with your very own eyes. If you would pass these out please - yes thank you. Hands out a stack of papers. If you would all kindly take a look at this, it should be very informative.

**Sheet Of Paper**:

THE CORRELLATION BETWEEN SPIKINESS OF HAIR AND HOMOSEXUALITY

No Spikes: You are boringly heterosexual

Spikes the length of Nose: Some inherent homosexuality

Spikes the length of Finger: Gay.

Spikes the length of Head: You are flamboyantly homosexual.

Spikes bigger than Head: You are Yugioh.

**Lecturer Akuroku**: As you see, the test is a ratio, between the height of a spike of hair and the length of a certain body part - thus H1(height of longest spike):(Nose1) + (Finger1) + (Head 1) - x. X N1 and/or F1 and/or He1. In general terms, this means that it is not the length of the spiky hair its self that determines homosexuality, it is the spikiness of hair relative to other parts of the body. Because this test is not yet completely accepted by the scientific community, we are forced to merely call it a theory. Therefore, we will refer to the concept of the test as the General Theory of Relativity.

This simply means that if a character has vertical hair spikes no longer than any other but a head the size of a light bulb he would be indeed more prone to yaoi-filled situations. However, if a character has a cranium the size of Texas, he will be more likely to be strait.

This is not to be confused with the General Theory of Relatives, which states, if two relatives of yours are in a train going a hundred miles an hour, and walking to the front of the train at five miles and hour, you, watching them on the platform, will see them walking at 105 miles an hour, as they will see you passing on the station at 95 miles an hour.

In the likely event that the train will crash, because, well, it's going 100 miles an hour, it's bound to derail some time, you will be sorrowful about one of these relatives deaths, but secretly uncaring about the other, because she was 95 years old, had a poor bladder, spoke with a horrible Boston accent, dyed her hair blond, wore excessive makeup, loved nothing more than to gossip about other members of the family and gave you nothing more satisfactory for Christmas than a pair of too-large socks.

Of course, this theory was disproved and reworked by Albert Einstein, who, it appeared, loved all of his relatives and never _once _got a pair of socks for Christmas.

The Hair-Spike correlation with homosexuality was first proposed by OMGSHONANAIROX999, who accredited her success to the fact that she'd finally gotten a good review for her Romeo and Juliet based hate/love cutter Donald Duck/Leon fic. Quoth she, "I was feeling pretty confident, and well, I found a board where the debate was going on, and it just . . . Hit me. Of course, I was also reading some fic about Cloud's spiky hair, and the two just, like, clicked in my brain. It was like . . . Devine inspiration. I wonder who my muse is, I hope it's Roxas, he is soooooo hot." Unquoth.

OMG's theory was new and unusual, and gained popularity almost immediately. But it was not proven until less than a week ago, with a set of experiments, the videos of which we have here in the lecture hall! Let me just turn the projector on . .

**Projecter**: Wrrrrrrrrrrr

(Two generic male anime characters are sitting in a icy white room. Both have hair pressed flat to their heads.)

**First Generic Male Anime Character**: (Continuing some long speech) . . . So then the cantaloupe says 'THAT'S THE JOKE!"

**Second Generic Male Anime Character**: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**First Generic Male Anime Character**: Ahahahaha!

**Second Generic Male Anime Character**: . . . I don't get it.

**First Generic Male Anime Character**: You're so insensitive, that was a good joke!

**Akuroku**: Pauses Projector There we have it. Two completely ordinary generic male anime characters telling bad jokes about fruit. Nothing Yaoi-tastic about that at all! Now, if the same two generic male anime characters have hair spiked as long as their heads . . . Turns Projector On

(Same two men, same room, now both have outrageously spiky hair.)

**First Generic Male Anime Character**: . . . So than the cantaloupe says "THAT'S THE JOKE!"

**Second Generic Male Anime Character**: Kiss me you devilishly handsome fiend!

**Akuroku**: Pauses Projector The results are clear. But this is not the only test. Here, see more proof.

(Two Monkeys are sitting in an icy white room.)

**First Monkey**: Ooook oook ook. Snort scratches behind

**Second Monkey**: Shrieks wildly

**First Monkey**: Shrieks wildly

**Second Monkey**: . . Ook. Grumble Eats Banana

**First Monkey**: Thwacks Second Monkey over the head Oook!

Fade out  
Fade in

(Same two monkeys, now both are wearing bright purple spiky wigs)

**First Monkey**: Ooook oook ook. Snort scratches behind

**Second Monkey**: OOOK! oook! oook!

**Akuroku**: Pauses Projector

(Wiping Away a Tear) Sniff Isn't it so_ terribly_ romantic?

**Audience**: . . .

**Akuroku**: There's one more thing I think you should see, and then you'll be completely convinced.

(In an icy white room sit two muffins.)

**First Muffin**: . . .

**Second Muffin**: . . .

**First Muffin**: . . .

**Second Muffin**: . . .

**First Muffin**: . . .

Fade out  
Fade in

(Same two muffins, now both are wearing spiky red wigs)

**First Muffin**: . . .

**Second Muffin**: Kiss me you devilishly handsome fiend!

**First Muffin**: OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN!

-badump _chink_-

**Audience Member**: What the hell was that supposed to prove?

**Akuroku**: Just because you aren't otaku enough to understand the genius of my work does not mean it's worthless! . . . Okay, that last one was worthless. But you see, everything else proves, scientifically and accurately, that -

**Door**: Bursts open. Light spills through. Angelic music heard. Three figures enter the room. Closes again.

**Mysterious Figure 1**: Kingdom Hearts isn't darkness, it's - where the heck are we!?

**Mysterious Figure 2**: What, Sora, you forgot already?

**Sora**: Oh - oh yeah! I have to stop this!

**Mysterious Figure 2**: Finally, realization dawns!

**Sora**: You've got to stop this wedding right now!

**Mysterious Figure 2**: WHAT???

**Sora**: He's got another wife! In the attic!

**Rochester**: standing up in the audience Don't listen to him, Jane! How did you know about Bertha?

**Mysterious Figure 2**: What. The. Hell.

**Sora**: Aha! Riku, I was right!

**Jane Eyre**: There's another woman?

**Rochester**: Fine, yes, there is!

**Jane Eyre**:How dare you!

**Riku**: Excuse me, I think you're in the wrong fandom.

**Jane Eyre and Rochester**: Pull out map Oh yes, sorry.

**Kumquat21**: This may be the crackiest thing I've ever written. Excuse me while I go bang my head on a wall for a while.

**Mysterious Figure 3**: Anyway, this nonsense has to stop!

**Akuroku**: What does?

**Mysterious Figure 3**: You're cruel, sick mind! You're basing a character's sexuality entirely on the _length of their HAIR_??

**Akuroku**: So?

**Mysterious Figure 3**: We're not going to stand for it!

**Akuroku**: You don't respect my beliefs?

**Mysterious Figure 3**: No!

**Akuroku**: So you're some kind of Yaoi hater?

**Mysterious Figure 3**: No, not at all, that's not what I mean!

**Riku**: Kairi? Hah! She reads any Yaoi Manga she can get her hands on! There was this one time she kicked a guy in the you-know-where because he was making fun of Boy Princess . . .

**Kairi**: _Shutupshutupshutupshutup-!_

**Sora**: What we mean is that matters of the heart have nothing to do with the hair! It's completely ridiculous! Hearts are powerful things, they're good, and love is the most potent force in the world, light not darkness benign not malignant wonderful not -!

**Audience**: SNORE  
**Riku**: Ignore him, he can go on for cut scenes on end.

**Akuroku**: Can't I please at least thwack him?

**Kairi**: NO! But he's right. You can't ship a pairing just because they've both got pretty, spiky hair. It's got to be because the two characters put faith in each other, understand each other, respect each other - in short, love! Homosexual or Het! That's the only way life goes!

**Akuroku**: God, you're almost as boring as he is! Riku's the only one without the snore-worthy monologue now!

**Riku**: Sora, I've always been . . . Been jealous of you, somehow. I . . .

**Akuroku**: MY EARS! THEY BURN!

**Sora**: Anyway, we've come to put an end to this nonsense, once and for all! We're proving this theory is completely ridiculous!

**Akuroku**: How? How would you prove it? It's impossible. Name any spiky-haired character - they're all gay!

**Kairi**: That's easy! Sora isn't!

**Akuroku**: Puh-lease! He was in a musical, for Koge Donbo's sake!

**Kairi**: You were, Sora? But I mean, lots of actors aren't gay! That doesn't prove anything!

**Akuroku**: Like there's any other reason a healthy teenage boy would swim around naked with an equally naked attractive mermaid! And sing and . . . Dance.

**Sora**: Hey, she had shells on!

**Kairi**: . . . Naked dancing? WITH A WOMAN! WHAT THE -?!  
**Sora**: No, it wasn't anything like that! She was in trouble! I - err - we were putting on Equiuus with Daniel Radcliff!

**Riku**: Oh, I have one. Cloud, he's got girls all over him!

**Akuroku**: He's hiding it.

**Riku**: No he's not! Umm . . . Roxas!

**Akuroku**: He's hiding it.

**Riku**: Demyx?

**Akuroku**: He's hiding it.

**Riku**: Axel!

**Akuroku**: He's not even hiding it.

**Riku**: I -well, actually, yeah. But for the rest of them - I don't believe you!

**Akuroku**: You'll never prove it! That's the brilliance of this theory. We fangirls can insinuate that anyone is gay!

**Kairi**: Well then, what about the opposite?

**Everyone Else**: Huh?  
**Kairi**: What about Riku?

**Akuroku**: What _about _Riku?

**Riku**: _What_ about me?

**Kairi**: He's the gayest character in the series!

**Sora**: WHAT?

**Riku**: _WHAAAAAT???_

**Akuroku**: Whaa- I mean, of course he is!

**Riku**: Whispering _Kairi, what are you - ?_

**Kairi**: Whispering _Shush. I have an idea!_

**Akuroku**: And what is this supposed to prove exactly? So what?

**Kairi**: Triumphantly Well, he doesn't have spiky hair!

**Akuroku**: What?  
**Sora**: Aha!

**Kairi**: According to your theory, Riku should be 'boringly heterosexual'!

**Riku**: But I _am _. . .

**Akuroku**: I - err - well - let me get my notes, does it really say that?

**Sora**: So, because Riku's homosexual, her theory doesn't work out!

**Riku**: But I'm not - !

**Akuroku**: But isn't it sort of spiky? Kind of . . . ?

**Sora**: We could shave it and it would still be the same. We would, but in less than ten seconds the author of this messed up fic would be mauled in a dark alleyway for touching the Almighty Riku's Venerable 'Do.

**Riku**: HEY! I'M NOT GAY! I'VE NEVER KISSED A BOY IN MY LIFE! Oh, except that one time when I was going to confess my feelings to Kairi from behind her and then sort of nibble her on the neck and . . .

**Akuroku**: Fine! It _was _a scam! And I would have got away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids and your - your - your giant key! Ohh, but I'll be back! This is far from over! In fact, _I challenge you to a LECTURE-OFF! _

**Thunder**: rolls

**Cue Dramatic Music**

**Sora**: We accept!

**Riku**: . . . but it was a mistake, honestly! I mean, they both have red hair! But god, Wakka sure can pack a punch . . . Hey, is anyone listening to me?

_Fade Out_

The _Kumquatous Discovery Happy-Joy Lecture Series _would like to thank you for listening to lecture 58 in the course, The Astronomical and Social Inveigles of Obscurities Within the Infamous Video-Game Industry, The Video Game Gay-o-Meter. Because of recent events, it was revealed that this particular lecture was a giant scam, and a complete waste of your time to listen to. On the plus side, this lecture was the fastest selling one ever, and we earned lots of dough from it! I, the random announcer voice, am personally taking a long vacation in Shanghai! We at the KDHJLS would also like to apologize to any homosexuals or shonen ai lovers that were offended in this.

_Next time_: It's Time To D-D-Debate! Topic: Unknown. Lecturers Akuroku, Sora, Kairi, and Riku presiding.

**On hindsight, I would also like to include a disclaimer for the muffin joke. It's not mine. In fact, it's told every year at our school talent show, as we wait for whatever broke **_**this time **_**to be fixed. **

**So, I hope it's obvious what I implore you to do! Submit a topic, any topic! I've got some ideas, and I'll probably know how to end it, no matter the topic (or it could be several) I choose, but the rest of my mind is blissfully free.**

**Oh, for anyone who cares to continue the biblical symbolism, I've created a forum. Originally I was going to write Roxas as the antichrist, and tie everything up, but then I started into a debate with my friend and realized it would be much more fun to fight it out and hear different theories. Thank you for reading!**


End file.
